Why I don’t agree with the Bechdel Test

If you don’t know what the Bechdel Test is, it was this “test” for movies and tv shows in which there must be two women in the movie/show, and they must have a conversation about anything besides men. If any movie/show does not follow these rules, they automatically fail.

At first I thought it was a great idea. Women would be more included, and not seen as just accessories to a movie. Later I started to realize it’s flaws.

This is actually just a short comic posted in 1985.

Dykes_to_Watch_Out_For_(Bechdel_test_origin).jpg

Here’s a list of why I don’t agree…

  1. Tons of movies or shows with strong female leads are excluded from this test because one, there is only one main female character, or two, they have a love interest, but that isn’t the main point of the movie/show. Why is it so wrong to have a love story involved? Love is often a big part of somebody’s life, and to exclude it is dishonest, and frankly, unusual.
  2. It could be homophobic. The two women can’t talk about a MAN. This lady in the comic is kind of assuming that all women are straight, and attracted to males. Not okay with me.
  3. It’s not feminist at all. A lot of feminists follow this test, but as a feminist, I don’t agree with this test. It only has to do with gender, not feminism. The two women could pass the Bechdel test even if they were talking about being a prostitute, or a stripper. That doesn’t sound very feminist to me.
  4. I choose to not look at gender. When I meet people, I tend to get to know them as people, and not stereotype or assume things because of their gender. Assuming that a movie is bad just because they are all men is very sexist, if you think about it.
  5. Lastly, this “test” is just a few lines from a comic strip. I’m surprised that it’s even being taken that seriously. Many of my favorite shows are all male characters, or all female characters, and I won’t give it up just because some comic from the 80’s told me to.

In conclusion, I don’t believe that this comic should be taken too seriously. It’s kind of sexist, homophobic, and stereotypical. Instead, people should look at a movie for the people in general, and if the characters are good role models or not. Not if they are women or men.

Please leave your thoughts down below. If you agree with this test, maybe you could explain why. If you disagree, let me know your thoughts on that as well. I would love to hear feminist perspectives.

Thanks for reading.

I am a privileged woman

I was watching this TED talk about feminism, and the speaker said something that really made me realize that even though I’m a woman, I am still privileged.

He said that one time, while in his feminist group, he was overhearing a white woman and a black woman talk. The black woman asked the white woman, “When you look into the mirror, what do you see?” The white woman says, “I see a woman.” and the black woman says, “Well, see, this is where we are different. When I look into the mirror, I see a black woman. For me, race is visible.” and then the man overhearing the conversation said out loud, “Uh oh.” And the women asked him what was the matter. He said, “Well, when I look into the mirror, I see a person.”

Privilege is invisible to those who have it. When I thought about it, whenever I look into the mirror, I see a woman…

To clear things up, I am not fully white, (70%) but I still classify as a white American. This makes me privileged.

I want to say that even though I classify as a feminist, I am not just a feminist. I am an intersectional feminist. I care about white women, black women, Hispanic women, Asian women, transgender women, gay women, bi women, ALL WOMEN.

I find it a bit upsetting when feminists only seem to focus on the problems of white women. While this might not be obvious to them, it is to others. They subconsciously seem to forget about others.

For example, white women make more money than black women or Hispanic women. All women still make less money then men, but white women are still ahead of other minority women.

In the end, I wanted to say that I know that I’m privileged, but unlike some other privileged people, I will use my privilege to help fight for other minority groups, because they matter just as much as I do.

Thank you for reading.

Makeup is not the enemy

I made a post last year about why I don’t want to wear makeup anymore, and while I still mostly agree with it, I believe that there are some problems that need to be addressed.

First of all, I thought that “women need to be less insecure, and accept their flaws.” But later I realized that your face is not you. You can’t help being born with a certain face. I saw a comment once on a forum and the girl said that she wore makeup because her makeup suits her personality. Her face is not her.

I know this might sound kind of wrong, but I don’t blame women that are insecure about their faces. They are comparing their natural and bare face to perfectly made up celebrities. We can’t help what we look like naturally, so it’s okay to be insecure on your face…

The important thing is your personality. The only thing that can harm you is being insecure on you as a person, not your face.

It’s shallow and immature to feel insecure on your face when you can’t help it! Those crinkles when you smile? You can’t help that! The dark circles under your eyes? You can’t help that! There is no reason to feel insecure on that! It’s not YOU! You are what comes out of your mouth! You are your happiness, your feelings, your emotions!

Your face is just genetics! It has nothing to do with who you are as a person. It’s 2016. Women need to stop putting so much emphasis on insecurities. Wear two pounds of makeup, or no makeup. I don’t care. At the end of the day, it’s your personality that needs to shine.

I also wanted to say that I am SICK and TIRED of men stating that “Women are lying to them” and that “Women with makeup are fake.” First of all, we don’t wear makeup to impress you. I am shocked that in 2016, some men STILL believe that women are basically meant to live for them. WE DON’T WEAR MAKEUP FOR YOU. If we did things the way you wanted us to, we would be walking around in bikinis. Women are not things that are for you to view for pleasure.

I just wanted to clear that one up. ūüôā

Thanks for reading.

12 Questions Every Feminist Gets Asked

I found this post by the lovely blogger Daniella, and so I decided to actually answer these questions because yes, I believe that they still need answering. Note that these are my personal opinions based on experiences and so they may differ from feminist to feminist, although in the end, as long as there is no sexism involved, there is no right or wrong answer.

Should a man still open the door for you?

To be honest, I slightly cringe when they do, but it’s only sexist if they wouldn’t do the same for another guy. However, there are times when it goes too far. For example, once I was walking to school, and I was about 30 feet away from the school entrance. This creep sees me from afar and actually holds the door for me until I walk all the way there. Now if that isn’t cringeworthy, I don’t know what is. I politely thanked him (although what I really wanted to do is ask if he was out of his mind) but other than that…

“Should a man pay for the first date?”

Ugh, I don’t even know how to answer this because once again… so cringeworthy. In the end, I would say no, because it’s sexist towards men. Men were not created to be the “money makers” in the relationship. Also, I’d feel very awkward and bad if somebody tried to pay for my meal. I would always offer.

“Can women still demand to be pampered by men?”

In a relationship, if both are pampering each other, then I don’t see a problem. However, feminists want equality, not special favors. I don’t know how many times I have to say this.

“Can a woman still be a feminist if she’s a housewife?”

I recently wrote a post here, so if you want, you could see my view on housewives. I am not exactly against them if it is unplanned and it is easier for the woman because of something dramatic that has happened in her life. (Also, to me, being a wife that lives at home does not mean that she does all of the cleaning/cooking/chores,) However, if a female aspires¬†to be a slave, ¬†(hmm? what? Oh, I meant housewife), that’s when I take it too far. Women should not aspire to be subservient to their husbands. Women should not want to submit and bow down to their king husband. Women need to aspire to be equals. That’s how it should be. Plus, have you even heard of a househusband? Just saying that name sounds strange, doesn’t it?

“Why are you getting married if you’re a feminist? Aren’t you supposed to hate men?”

I honestly feel bad for any feminist who has to answer this ignorant question. I didn’t realize that being in love meant man-hating? Also, feminists love men. Feminists love women. Feminists love everyone. (At least, real ones do.) I kind of feel like they’re implying that a woman is supposed to be a servant of the husband (gender roles) in a marriage…. Gender roles are nasty.

“Are you a feminist because you are a lesbian?”

Does anyone even take this one seriously? I mean come on. I had no idea that you could be sexist and homophobic in one short sentence. Anybody can be a feminist. Everybody should be a feminist.

“In the bible, it says a woman was created from a man, so that means men are superior, right?”

Personally, I don’t believe in the bible, but from my knowledge, no where in the bible does it say that men are superior just because they were made first. I mean, I don’t exactly agree with the bible on a lot of things… for example, in the bible it states that woman was created for man, and a woman should be subservient to the husband. I don’t agree, but I won’t bash somebody’s religion unless it affects me. And also, don’t even act like you follow the bible, because technically, if that whole Adam and Eve story were true and there was proof, than everyone would be vegan. Why? Because Adam and Eve were vegan before they sinned. God created us to be vegan, so…. It’s funny how Christians argue that we need meat, when in their own bible veganism is promoted. Anyways…

“Do feminists have to be pro choice?”

No, unless pro-lifers show hypocrisy in some way. For example, you can’t say you are pro-LIFE and then eat meat. (which was a living animal, like you, if you failed to realize that) So anyone who is unbiased may be pro-life or pro-choice. It’s not just a question for feminists.

“Isn’t it against the rule for women to be sexy and a feminist at the same time?”

Unless your whole life is revolved around appealing to men, I don’t see a problem with it. And, if that makes you feel more confident, than more power to you!

“Can men be feminist?”

I don’t want to have to say the definition of feminism for the 20000th time, but YES, anybody and everybody can be a feminist.

“Why not just call it equality instead of feminism?”

Because calling it equality would be ignoring the fact that women have been oppressed for thousands of years. It has been acceptable throughout history to beat, torture, rape, and murder women. It has been acceptable to own women. It has been acceptable to pay women less, and to call it equality would be dishonest.

 

I hope you enjoyed this post. Please leave a comment if you want to discuss something or leave your thoughts. I love having conversations with you! Also, be sure to be respectful, because I won’t hold my tongue if you insult me or others. Thanks for reading!

How to be a southern housewife: response

Hey everyone! So, today you might have noticed the article that I posted today. I talked about why it’s harmful to be a housewife, and why it’s damaging to feminism. We are not living in the 1950s. Well, some housewife by the name of “sweet baby cadillac” responded to my post on her blog. She seemed extremely offended, so I think I would just like to clarify a few things…

First, she says:

Our men work hard daily to supply us with the money to live, as well as taking care of our needs, which include clothing, housing, food and luxury items. In most circumstances women want for nothing in these situations and so to honor the husband by putting his needs above our own is not unheard of. Submission is not always a negative ideal. My Mother was a single¬†mom who didn‚Äôt do much. I had no display of a traditionalist life. I do these things because I love my husband, and he works a very labor intensive job. If I plate his food and serve him first, it gives him more energy to interact with me after a long hard day.”

Response: Submission is, according to the google definition:¬†the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person. Hmm. I’m not sure if I’d want my husband to be a superior force. Weren’t all humans created equally? Submission doesn’t sound equal to me. She even admits that she plates his food first. Did I not say that he isn’t a king? This woman is degrading and dehumanizing women everywhere. She’s turning them into inanimate objects that serve and bow down to their husbands.¬†

“You did not directly link the post, so I cannot check this for validity, but I find it hard to believe this is the exact term used for this rule. Most Home Makers have a system down to keep the house clean daily without straining to do every chore daily. By cleaning up after everyone in the home, you are not enabling childlike behavior, you are caring for someone who works out of the home and supplies you with an income. It‚Äôs simply trashy to live in an unclean and un-hygienic¬†home, So to clean daily is just good practice. If it is done before he gets home, that is time you can be spending together to keep the marriage bond strong.”

Response: Great start. She calls me a liar. Yes, this was the exact term from the blog. I refused to give out this woman’s blog (original post) because I wanted to be respectful and not bully her. Cleaning is good, but why does the woman clean? Does her husband even do any chores? She’s picking my argument apart while refusing to look at the big picture. The fact that it is expected of the WOMAN to cook and clean is sexist and degrading. And the fact that she willingly does it, is revolting. I mean, I tried to be polite, and she can do what she wants, but to encourage it? Really? Is she even aware of the inequalities that women faced in the 50s? Without feminism, she could’ve been raped and on the streets. Without feminism, this woman wouldn’t even have a blog. She wouldn’t have the right to speak, let alone write this entire post.

“Again, making a lunch for your husband is helping respect and thank him for his hard work. Some men do not have time to make themselves lunch. If you‚Äôre a stay-at-home wife, you can spare the time. Get off the damn internet and dote on your husband. You may find he returns the gesture in different but mutually pleasing ways.”

Response: Okay, don’t even try to tell me that he returns the gesture in “mutually pleasing ways.” All she does is clean, and no offense, but she doesn’t even have a job? What gesture did she provide? Being a maid? I don’t know if she’s referring to me when she said, “get off the damn internet” but isn’t she on the internet too?¬†

“What is wrong with being his little dolly? And what is wrong with a man taking pride in his wife?”

Response: I’ll tell you what’s wrong. Degrading women and turning them into INANIMATE OBJECTS (spoiler alert: that’s what a doll is) is disgusting. Her husband must be a real misogynist. A man can be HAPPY to have his wife but NOT pride. He did not create her. He did not earn her. She is a human being, not a toy.

“Are you bashing someone‚Äôs religious choices? You probably read in a book that the earth is round. Now, that you have been taught the earth is round would you justify travelling around it without the chance of falling off? Using the bible to justify the way of living your life is perfectly fine for people who identify as Christian. Dehumanizing someone because of that choice is completely horrendous and I‚Äôm ashamed of you.”

Response: No, I would never bash a religion. It’s the fact that she is using the bible to JUSTIFY being treated like dirt. That’s like using the bible to justify slaughtering and eating corpses. (What you call meat…) She misinterpreted my meaning. In fact, if anyone is dehumanizing women, it’s housewives.

“He is far from a child. I wonder if you have ever met a true masculine traditionalist man. Call him a child and see where that gets you.”

Response: I don’t know where you’re from, but where I live we don’t threaten people’s physical strength or intelligence, if that’s what you were referring to. I have called him a child and I’ll do it again. You really don’t get it, do you?¬†

 

 

Okay, okay, I’ve simply had enough. This woman is beyond brainwashed and sadly there’s nothing that I can do to fix it. I don’t care if she responds again (she lives at home all day, so what else is she going to do?)

Lastly, I’d like to state that once again, there is nothing wrong with living at home, especially if you have children. But sometimes sexism goes too far, especially when it’s the women endorsing it. I feel very sorry for people who are mistreated. This woman may be happy, and good for her, but insulting feminism, and spitting in its face is disgusting.

Oh, and Happy National Women’s History Month! Ironic, ain’t it? ūüėČ

How to Be a Southern Housewife

Today I somehow came across this blog, which I will not name, and the post that I came across was something along the lines of “How to be the perfect southern housewife,” and while I am neutral (and slightly against) the idea of housewives, I found the “rules” that she listed ridiculous. I will summarize them below. And if you are wondering, sadly yes, this lady was serious.

 

  1. You must know how to cook meals for your husband. Plate the food nicely and always serve him first.”¬†First of all, lady, what kind of fantasy world does your husband thinks he lives in? I’m going to take a wild guess and say that it was his idea. If not, I pity that your mother/father that taught you this way. You are not a slave to your husband. He does not own you. And really, serve him first? He’s not a king, he’s your husband.
  2. “You need to clean the entire house before your husband gets home.” Like I said, you aren’t a slave. Just because you are a woman who happens to live at home, doesn’t mean you should do all the work for your husband. And yes, she does mention cleaning all of her husband’s mess as well. He is not a child. He can clean up after himself.
  3. “Get ready for his departure in the mornings. Get up before he does and brush your hair, wash your face, put on some mascara & gloss. Make his lunch-everyday.”¬†I’m not sure if this was her intention, but she is trying to portray ¬†that a woman should be perfect 24/7. This is not only unrealistic, but frankly a lie to your husband as well. He should love you regardless of whether or not you look like an undead alien in the morning. Also, really? Make his lunch? He knows how to move his hands. He can make his own lunch. She sounds like she is getting her baby boy ready for preschool.
  4. “Prepare yourself for his arrival home. Take 15 mins before your hubby arrives home to clean yourself up a bit. Re apply that lip gloss, smooth your hair. You should look like a shiny trophy because you are PRIZED! Your home should be a haven. Always greet him with a kiss & a smile.”¬†One, you are not his little dolly. You are a human being. You are not a shiny trophy. He didn’t earn you. A wife loves her husband, she doesn’t submit to him. I don’t know what kind of fantasies this lady is having. It seems like she’s been watching way too many 50s movies and she is so bored that she is fantasizing how she can become less boring. Okay, I don’t mean to be rude here, but this is revolting to me. I would rather be poor but have a job than do what she does. And yes, this is her “choice”, but it doesn’t seem like it by the way she lets her husband treat her. This seems like extreme brainwashing to me.
  5. “The Bible says a nagging wife is like a dripping faucet. And nagging your hubby wont make him do anything but try to get away from you. There are certain things a southern housewife never does btw¬†which are: touch the trash, do any yard work or do any kind of repair work¬†with your car….which just as a reminder, isn’t lady like.”¬†Really? Using the bible to justify being treated like dirt? I am aware that this isn’t entirely the husband’s fault, but my point is that he lets it happen, and chances are that he likes it. Really? “Isn’t lady like?” Gender roles much? My friend Kaitlyn has an entire post on why gender roles are nasty so I’ll link it here:¬†https://creativenessnevergetsold.wordpress.com/2016/01/12/gender-roles/
  6. “You must know how to clean. No man wants to live in piggy mess!”¬†Once again, she sounds like a housewife is a maid. Like I said, gender roles are nasty and harmful to both genders. It’s unfair to this woman that her husband gets to act like a child his entire life. He first has his mommy to cook, clean, and pack his lunch every day for him, and then he has the same thing when he gets his wife. Your wife is not your mommy. A marriage should have equality, not slavery. I mean, it seems like this lady enjoys living in this artificial world, but in reality, and behind the scenes, I can almost say for sure that she is bored and unhappy.
  7. “Don’t forget how to be sexy! You should wear sexy things around the house.”¬†Woman are not “sexy” objects that just lounge around all day looking pretty.

 

In conclusion, I highly doubt that people of intelligence and common sense would want this occupation, but for whatever crazy reason they do, I pity them. Man or woman staying home, it is still unfair. They are not slaves. I am not saying that it’s wrong for a man/woman to stay home, but the fact that this woman made rules on how you should act is disgusting. For example, if a man/woman gets injured and she/he is no longer able to work, than why would I shame her/him for staying home? But if he/she¬†deliberately¬†aspires to be a¬†slave… that is when I take it too far. I have had enough of this whole, “Well, she has a choice.” Is it really a choice when she is brainwashed to like this nightmare? Is it really a choice when she wants the easy way out because she might not be intelligent enough (or she chooses to dumb herself down) to get her own job? Plus, the fact that WOMEN are housewives and cleaners and caretakers is revolting. I’ve had enough.

Thanks for reading.