12 Questions Every Feminist Gets Asked

I found this post by the lovely blogger Daniella, and so I decided to actually answer these questions because yes, I believe that they still need answering. Note that these are my personal opinions based on experiences and so they may differ from feminist to feminist, although in the end, as long as there is no sexism involved, there is no right or wrong answer.

Should a man still open the door for you?

To be honest, I slightly cringe when they do, but it’s only sexist if they wouldn’t do the same for another guy. However, there are times when it goes too far. For example, once I was walking to school, and I was about 30 feet away from the school entrance. This creep sees me from afar and actually holds the door for me until I walk all the way there. Now if that isn’t cringeworthy, I don’t know what is. I politely thanked him (although what I really wanted to do is ask if he was out of his mind) but other than that…

“Should a man pay for the first date?”

Ugh, I don’t even know how to answer this because once again… so cringeworthy. In the end, I would say no, because it’s sexist towards men. Men were not created to be the “money makers” in the relationship. Also, I’d feel very awkward and bad if somebody tried to pay for my meal. I would always offer.

“Can women still demand to be pampered by men?”

In a relationship, if both are pampering each other, then I don’t see a problem. However, feminists want equality, not special favors. I don’t know how many times I have to say this.

“Can a woman still be a feminist if she’s a housewife?”

I recently wrote a post here, so if you want, you could see my view on housewives. I am not exactly against them if it is unplanned and it is easier for the woman because of something dramatic that has happened in her life. (Also, to me, being a wife that lives at home does not mean that she does all of the cleaning/cooking/chores,) However, if a female aspires to be a slave,  (hmm? what? Oh, I meant housewife), that’s when I take it too far. Women should not aspire to be subservient to their husbands. Women should not want to submit and bow down to their king husband. Women need to aspire to be equals. That’s how it should be. Plus, have you even heard of a househusband? Just saying that name sounds strange, doesn’t it?

“Why are you getting married if you’re a feminist? Aren’t you supposed to hate men?”

I honestly feel bad for any feminist who has to answer this ignorant question. I didn’t realize that being in love meant man-hating? Also, feminists love men. Feminists love women. Feminists love everyone. (At least, real ones do.) I kind of feel like they’re implying that a woman is supposed to be a servant of the husband (gender roles) in a marriage…. Gender roles are nasty.

“Are you a feminist because you are a lesbian?”

Does anyone even take this one seriously? I mean come on. I had no idea that you could be sexist and homophobic in one short sentence. Anybody can be a feminist. Everybody should be a feminist.

“In the bible, it says a woman was created from a man, so that means men are superior, right?”

Personally, I don’t believe in the bible, but from my knowledge, no where in the bible does it say that men are superior just because they were made first. I mean, I don’t exactly agree with the bible on a lot of things… for example, in the bible it states that woman was created for man, and a woman should be subservient to the husband. I don’t agree, but I won’t bash somebody’s religion unless it affects me. And also, don’t even act like you follow the bible, because technically, if that whole Adam and Eve story were true and there was proof, than everyone would be vegan. Why? Because Adam and Eve were vegan before they sinned. God created us to be vegan, so…. It’s funny how Christians argue that we need meat, when in their own bible veganism is promoted. Anyways…

“Do feminists have to be pro choice?”

No, unless pro-lifers show hypocrisy in some way. For example, you can’t say you are pro-LIFE and then eat meat. (which was a living animal, like you, if you failed to realize that) So anyone who is unbiased may be pro-life or pro-choice. It’s not just a question for feminists.

“Isn’t it against the rule for women to be sexy and a feminist at the same time?”

Unless your whole life is revolved around appealing to men, I don’t see a problem with it. And, if that makes you feel more confident, than more power to you!

“Can men be feminist?”

I don’t want to have to say the definition of feminism for the 20000th time, but YES, anybody and everybody can be a feminist.

“Why not just call it equality instead of feminism?”

Because calling it equality would be ignoring the fact that women have been oppressed for thousands of years. It has been acceptable throughout history to beat, torture, rape, and murder women. It has been acceptable to own women. It has been acceptable to pay women less, and to call it equality would be dishonest.

 

I hope you enjoyed this post. Please leave a comment if you want to discuss something or leave your thoughts. I love having conversations with you! Also, be sure to be respectful, because I won’t hold my tongue if you insult me or others. Thanks for reading!

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Maritza's Thoughts

I have always enjoyed the art of writing and language. That is why I decided to start this blog. I write about my thoughts, veganism, and mindfulness. I hope you enjoy my blog.

8 thoughts on “12 Questions Every Feminist Gets Asked”

  1. Hi Maritza,
    As a guy, I enjoyed your post with the questions and answers. I have a complicated question. All of the women I know seem, admittedly a small world, to be persons of complete personal sovereignty. None of them take second place. But, while any of the would take a stand for the various up front feminist issues such as equal pay none of them ever use the word feminist at least in my presence. The following is meant as a query only for my understanding.

    Is the sense of being involved in a movement called feminism in the consciousness at all times?

    I ask this because at one time in the peace movement of the 60s many of us lived the anti-war attitude all the time. I at least, learned I was missing out on important parts of life even harming relationships.

    Thanks Melvyn Polatchek – adventuresinthought.com

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    1. Hello Melvyn,

      Thank you for your nice and thoughtful comment. I am glad that you enjoyed my post. It wasn’t as detailed as I would like but I’m glad that you got the gist. I know exactly what you’re talking about. Many women (and men) are afraid of what people will think if they call themselves feminists. Many (if not all) people are feminists,and they either don’t know it or are too “ashamed” to admit it. That is very upsetting to me. Frankly, I am angry that feminists have turned into a joke for misogynists to laugh at. Sexism is not funny.
      Many people are feminists but they don’t consider themselves a part of a “movement” which is fine with me. There is no “perfect” feminist, right? I believe that feminism can’t really be compared to a war because unlike the “anti-war” attitude that you spoke of, feminism is (at least it’s supposed to be) about empowering and supporting women and men. It’s supposed to be about getting women equal pay, equal representation, etc. It’s a positive movement. Feminism shouldn’t harm relationships. In fact, feminism can help relationships. For example, before feminism, I was so brainwashed and filled with gender roles that I couldn’t see when men used me, I couldn’t see when I was being discriminated against. I didn’t stand up for myself because I didn’t even know what was happening. I hope you understand what I mean, and I hope I answered your question. If you have any more, I would be happy to answer them!

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  2. *facepalm*

    Those questions… wow.

    Lovely how they assume all feminists are female.

    This reminds of trying to answer lists of questions from Christians to atheists. Some of them just make so many assumptions that are just plain wrong. But sometimes it’s worth trying to answer questions like that, or else point out why the question is so very wrong (like that question that assumes you are a lesbian).

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    1. I agree. They do assume all feminists are female. Christians can be very hard to explain to. I’m not even an atheist and I deal with curious Christians that are surprised when I tell them that I’m not religious at all. (Buddhism is a philosophy so I wouldn’t count that.)
      You’re right. We should answer these dumb questions, at least to point out why they are wrong. Thanks for your comment. I hope you enjoyed my post.

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