How to Be a Southern Housewife

Today I somehow came across this blog, which I will not name, and the post that I came across was something along the lines of “How to be the perfect southern housewife,” and while I am neutral (and slightly against) the idea of housewives, I found the “rules” that she listed ridiculous. I will summarize them below. And if you are wondering, sadly yes, this lady was serious.

 

  1. You must know how to cook meals for your husband. Plate the food nicely and always serve him first.” First of all, lady, what kind of fantasy world does your husband thinks he lives in? I’m going to take a wild guess and say that it was his idea. If not, I pity that your mother/father that taught you this way. You are not a slave to your husband. He does not own you. And really, serve him first? He’s not a king, he’s your husband.
  2. “You need to clean the entire house before your husband gets home.” Like I said, you aren’t a slave. Just because you are a woman who happens to live at home, doesn’t mean you should do all the work for your husband. And yes, she does mention cleaning all of her husband’s mess as well. He is not a child. He can clean up after himself.
  3. “Get ready for his departure in the mornings. Get up before he does and brush your hair, wash your face, put on some mascara & gloss. Make his lunch-everyday.” I’m not sure if this was her intention, but she is trying to portray  that a woman should be perfect 24/7. This is not only unrealistic, but frankly a lie to your husband as well. He should love you regardless of whether or not you look like an undead alien in the morning. Also, really? Make his lunch? He knows how to move his hands. He can make his own lunch. She sounds like she is getting her baby boy ready for preschool.
  4. “Prepare yourself for his arrival home. Take 15 mins before your hubby arrives home to clean yourself up a bit. Re apply that lip gloss, smooth your hair. You should look like a shiny trophy because you are PRIZED! Your home should be a haven. Always greet him with a kiss & a smile.” One, you are not his little dolly. You are a human being. You are not a shiny trophy. He didn’t earn you. A wife loves her husband, she doesn’t submit to him. I don’t know what kind of fantasies this lady is having. It seems like she’s been watching way too many 50s movies and she is so bored that she is fantasizing how she can become less boring. Okay, I don’t mean to be rude here, but this is revolting to me. I would rather be poor but have a job than do what she does. And yes, this is her “choice”, but it doesn’t seem like it by the way she lets her husband treat her. This seems like extreme brainwashing to me.
  5. “The Bible says a nagging wife is like a dripping faucet. And nagging your hubby wont make him do anything but try to get away from you. There are certain things a southern housewife never does btw which are: touch the trash, do any yard work or do any kind of repair work with your car….which just as a reminder, isn’t lady like.” Really? Using the bible to justify being treated like dirt? I am aware that this isn’t entirely the husband’s fault, but my point is that he lets it happen, and chances are that he likes it. Really? “Isn’t lady like?” Gender roles much? My friend Kaitlyn has an entire post on why gender roles are nasty so I’ll link it here: https://creativenessnevergetsold.wordpress.com/2016/01/12/gender-roles/
  6. “You must know how to clean. No man wants to live in piggy mess!” Once again, she sounds like a housewife is a maid. Like I said, gender roles are nasty and harmful to both genders. It’s unfair to this woman that her husband gets to act like a child his entire life. He first has his mommy to cook, clean, and pack his lunch every day for him, and then he has the same thing when he gets his wife. Your wife is not your mommy. A marriage should have equality, not slavery. I mean, it seems like this lady enjoys living in this artificial world, but in reality, and behind the scenes, I can almost say for sure that she is bored and unhappy.
  7. “Don’t forget how to be sexy! You should wear sexy things around the house.” Woman are not “sexy” objects that just lounge around all day looking pretty.

 

In conclusion, I highly doubt that people of intelligence and common sense would want this occupation, but for whatever crazy reason they do, I pity them. Man or woman staying home, it is still unfair. They are not slaves. I am not saying that it’s wrong for a man/woman to stay home, but the fact that this woman made rules on how you should act is disgusting. For example, if a man/woman gets injured and she/he is no longer able to work, than why would I shame her/him for staying home? But if he/she deliberately aspires to be a slave… that is when I take it too far. I have had enough of this whole, “Well, she has a choice.” Is it really a choice when she is brainwashed to like this nightmare? Is it really a choice when she wants the easy way out because she might not be intelligent enough (or she chooses to dumb herself down) to get her own job? Plus, the fact that WOMEN are housewives and cleaners and caretakers is revolting. I’ve had enough.

Thanks for reading.

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Maritza's Thoughts

I have always enjoyed the art of writing and language. That is why I decided to start this blog. I write about my thoughts, veganism, and mindfulness. I hope you enjoy my blog.

20 thoughts on “How to Be a Southern Housewife”

    1. I know right!

      And, I know this is random to ask in the comment section, but did you hear about the company who is granting women menstrual leave? Men are saying that this sexist (I call BS. Women don’t choose to have a period.) But as a feminist, what are your thoughts? Or maybe you already know about this and you are going to write a post about it.

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      1. I have heard about it!! I may be writing a post about it – I think it should happen more. It’s not sexist. For so many women, painful periods are really common (like, for me, who suffers endometriosis). A little goddamn recognition isn’t hard! Companies should be giving it, because it’s not fair that it eats into women’s sick leave! Grr. Stupid men who don’t understand sexism.

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      2. No problems! I loved both pieces!! I did write it, I’m going to publish it later today. I think you’ll love it (or I hope so)! And thank you!!!

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    1. To this day? That is sad. I know this might seem like a stereotype, but do you notice sexism where you live? Is there more sexism in South Carolina? I live in Portland, Oregon and I hear that it’s quite different. The people are so liberal here that they don’t even notice gender. It’s great.

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      1. It’s not terrible, but yes people are sexist here. Only boys can help move things, our dance room was painted pink, and a lot of people are just really disgusting towards women. It’s mostly with the old southern white people, my mom for example said I can’t cook so she doesn’t know how I’ll keep my boyfriend.

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      2. Ugh, I don’t know how you deal with that! I mean, I thought I had it bad in California! (I used to live there.) If I get married/have a boyfriend, he’s cooking too. I’m sorry that you have to deal with that kind of sexism.

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      3. Look at all the “enlightened” places in the US (the coasts and the upper middle sections of the US). Poverty is generally low, education is high, people of all kinds are tolerated (and even celebrated), the liberal/secular viewpoint is much more common. Look at the religious red states. Generally speaking, poverty is much higher, divorce rates are higher, domestic violence is higher, government assistance is higher, healthcare is lower, education is lower. Kind of funny, huh? They say that Jesus, conservatism and guns are the answer to everything, yet by every measurable statistic, we can see that’s not the result.

        Yeah, I’m a liberal New Englander by birth. And yeah, I can be intolerant of my southern neighbors. Not all of them, just the ignorant ones who talk a big game about getting the government off our backs while they’re taking government assistance and telling women what they can do with their reproductive systems.

        This site might be offensive to some, but I really think it pretty much hits the nail on the head. Sorry to all your rational southerners. You folks can stay, but you’re going to have to get your brothers and sisters in line.

        http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/fuck-the-south/Content?oid=19816

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      4. Wow. That is so interesting! I am originally from California, so I lived in a blue state as well. However, I was raised a conservative sexist redneck until I got some sense. (My parents actually wanted to move to Texas or Tennessee. *shudder*)

        Nice to meet a proud liberal with some sense! 🙂

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