How much have I changed?

Something that is strange about humans is that we change a lot. Some people change more than others, and some people don’t seem to change at all. Some changes are more noticeable than others, and some changes can cause conflict.

Humans are always changing. Physically, emotionally, and mentally. I am one of the many people that had quite a drastic change, from my personality to my physical appearance.

Throughout my sophomore and freshman years, I was quite different from the present me. I was obsessed with my hair, how I looked, makeup, clothing, you name it. There is nothing wrong with liking any of these things, but I was obsessed with them. This is not a positive thing, in my experience, and despite getting attention from boys at school, I was still insecure. (Probably because a woman’s worth is not based on male attention.)

The old me (you could say) was shallow and naive. I am still naive, but I am definitely not shallow. I used to be obsessed with YouTube beauty gurus, and watch makeup tutorials daily. (Maybe 3 a day.) Back then it seemed completely normal, but looking back, that’s insane. No teenage girl should waste her life on perfecting her looks. It’s just not possible, and it is very harmful to her mental health.

In a way, I blame society, and I’m not just looking to point the finger. It was society. Society told me that I need to get male attention, I need to look good in order to have friends, I need to focus mostly on my appearance, when the same cannot be said for males. Males do have expectations, but obviously, coming from a feminist, women are the ones seen as objects.

So I guess you could say that the old me was a shallow teenage girl that was brainwashed by society, and the present me is one of the few women trying to break society’s standards.

Not many women go a DAY without makeup (let alone a week, or a month), not many women can confidently say that they like the way they look without makeup, and it’s sad that so many women base their worth on what a male thinks of them.

I am proud of the present me, and I hope that I will continue to grow and change, for the better. I am confident in myself, and nothing someone can say can bring me down anymore. Words used to really get to me, but I learned from it, and I realized society’s faults.

I guess my point is to try to focus on being someone you could be proud of. Be someone that is confident, because in the end, you only have yourself!

Thank you for reading.

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Maritza's Thoughts

I have always enjoyed the art of writing and language. That is why I decided to start this blog. I write about my thoughts, veganism, and mindfulness. I hope you enjoy my blog.

198 thoughts on “How much have I changed?”

      1. It’s not rocket science. Feminism is about helping women become equal to men. It is about destroying rape culture, gender roles, and giving women a voice. You’re smart, so I’d say you’re a feminist. A lot of people are very confused on the definition of feminism, and it’s mainly just an excuse to not be a feminist, but if someone comes out to tell me that they aren’t a feminist, I will no longer associate with them. Nobody in the right mind would be anti-feminist. What sources do you speak of?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. SO funding more police to stop rapings? I’d support that after we stop welfare and unnecessary wars. Bring back the death penalty on rape? Maybe. Promote social environments where women are treated kindly and the same as men? Of course! Enforce equal pay for women? No. Enforce low prices on tampons and like products? No. Enforce regulations on offensive speech? No.

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      3. We are trying to change society. I don’t think that police will help. It is the court cases that are being lost because women are either to afraid to come forward or the perpetrators say “she wanted it,” or “she was asking for it.” and that is acceptable in society to say right now. Feminists want to change that. You are getting the wrong idea of feminism.

        I don’t think we should have the death penalty on rape, but I do think there should be harsh punishments. I have never heard that one before.

        Yes, there should always be equal pay for men and women, if they are doing the exact same job and have the exact same qualifications. To not do so would be to violate discrimination laws.

        Yes, there should be lower prices on feminine products because the companies take advantage of that fact that women NEED them. That is why the whole free bleed movement was even sparked. (Well, one of the reasons.)

        And yes, there should be consequences for sexist bullying.

        You have some work to do, but for the most part, you aren’t as bad as the other anti-feminists I have seen.

        Once again, I did not mean for this post to become a whole debate. It was just meant to state my opinions and my personal experiences. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      4. Okay, I support the freedom to discriminate at will, so I guess you can stop associating with me. I support many of the parts of feminism, and think women should have equal pay for equal work, but not at the cost of liberty. What if all the feminine product companies went out of business? What happened before they were created. You don’t have the right to anything anyone else makes, unless they give it to you, and most people won’t give it to you unless you give them a whole lot in exchange.

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      5. Also, a lot of times, men are the sole earners of the family in domestic violence cases. Because of this, the woman is dependent on the man and she cannot leave. She needs his money to survive and take care of her children. She is then stuck in the abuse.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. She would have gotten a job if she could. That’s like saying “I support child labor because they have a job.” Despite the fact that they are tortured and they don’t have a choice. These women are either controlled obsessively by the man, or in a situation where a job is not available. Also, a lot of times the man will MAKE SURE that she is dependent on him so that he can take advantage of her, leaving her helpless.

        Instead of questioning what she can do, question why the man does that to her in the first place. Not all the women can just leave.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. But would it be sexist for them to INTENTIONALLY go out of business? To deny you the chance to buy the products? Why don’t you start a company that makes the products cruelty free, and at low prices if it’s so easy? You will have millions of customers!

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      8. You’re too funny. You can’t even prove that. Once again, your opinion. Also, I’ve had enough of you attacking others and then claiming that you meant no harm. You KNOW that we do not agree, yet you still try to attack us. If you comment on more thing on this post, (despite my many attempts to tell you it’s not respectful) I will block you.

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      9. I’m not sure what you mean, but marriage is sacred to some, but it was originally meant to tie alliances between families. There is nothing sacred about that. Gender should not have roles because that limits the person to what they are capable of.

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      10. You are right, they should not have forced roles, but women have talents and abilities that men don’t have, and men have talents and abilities that women don’t have, for instance, you can multi-task. I cannot. I can punch very hard without breaking my knuckles. You cannot. Right there that’s a little bit of evidence that men are protectors and women are child-rearers. Of course, this should not be forced, and both should help raise and protect children, as well as provide for them.

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      11. Hmm.. I’m pretty sure that I could beat you up if I wanted to. You have no idea how strong I am, so you cannot just assume that I’m weaker just because of my gender. It’s also stereotyping to assume that all men cannot multi-task. I wouldn’t want some weakling like you protecting me… I can protect myself. In fact, most of my boyfriends were weaker than me, and I was more than okay with that. That was incredibly insulting, and frankly, a lie. Not all women want children, in fact, without brainwashing, and given the choice, most women would not want children. I don’t need my future husband to protect me or provide for me. In fact, I’ll probably do a better job on my own. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      12. You probably can beat me up. It is physically impossible for a man to multitask, they can only switch their attention rapidly. I said my knuckles are more sturdy, not that I am stronger. Those things I said have been scientifically proven, they are not stereotypes.

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      13. Feminism does not support special favors for women. Again, they fight for equality, and that is not equality. More anti-feminist propaganda being shoved down the throats of neutral people like you. It does support marriage, as long as both partners are equal and one does not have authority over the other.

        Liked by 2 people

      14. Because it is very much mistaken and even we who side with it do not fully grasp the depth of it. One thing I do know however is that, it isn’t limited to bedroom/couples matters and affairs as it is thought to be. It is way wider beyond our imaginations.

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    1. First of all, Jace, you can believe marriage is a sacred thing but here is where it goes to far. Just because you get married, doesn’t mean she will be a slave for you and cook/clean. When you get married, you have to equally chip in, not assume she is going to serve you. Gender roles is when you pick a women’s societal “duties” based on her gender. Which I don’t support, even if it was her choice because it encourages this on other women. Like, I wouldn’t assume my future husband is going to be the bread winner. That would be sexist as well. “SO funding more police to stop rapings?” No. Sadly, it can also happen in marriages where the partner is too afraid to speak up. Plus, society tells men that women are objects to use, that’s why there is so much rape. In school, they teach girls how not to get raped (no short skirts, don’t look like a “slut”, don’t talk back. e.t.c.) That’s why feminists are telling people to teach people not to rape instead on telling girls (not even boys because boys can get raped too) how not to get raped. Like somehow it would be the girl’s fault. “Enforce equal pay for women?” Why not? Women can work just as hard as men, so they deserve the same pay. What if someone payed you less because of something so simple as your gender. “Enforce low prices on tampons and like products?” These companies are overpricing them because they know women NEED them. “Enforce regulations on offensive speech?” Call me when you have been called a slut or someone has said “hey baby” to you. I have been called a slut and have been yelled at when I am walking down the street. Which doesn’t make sense because I’m a virgin. “Does feminism support special favors for women or not?” Definitely not. I don’t want it the other way around that the women are the workers and the men are slaves. That would be stupid and not right. Sorry for my essay of a comment.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. In marriage, no one is a slave. Both do as much as they can to help each other. Fathers have a responsibility to provide for the family, teach the children and assist the wife. Mothers have the responsibility to care for the house, teach the children, and assist the husband. Both are equal partners and do so happily and of their own free will. They both continue to learn and grow. They use each other’s skills as if they were their own. Calling you a slut in public is technically slander (as it is false and harms your reputation), not protected by free speech, and it can and should be punished by the law.

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      2. *Ding ding ding* sexism right here. Gender roles are sexist, both to men and women. Men are not just the breadwinners, and women are not just the caretakers/babymakers. That was enforced on them by society, and if they both do it by their own free will, that is fine, but feminists are only angry if it is expected of them to do that, without choice.

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      3. Not officially in the United States of America. There may be in your strict religion, but I would rather live freely without sexist rules to follow. For the last time, women are not the babymakers/caretakers. People like you try to enforce that upon women from a young age, but society is changing, and you won’t get your way. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Children are not needed in this world anymore. There is no reason to have children besides selfish reasons like you like them. (But you already know my opinion on that.)

        But that is your opinion, and you just stated the gender roles as if they were laws, so yes, you did try to enforce it. At least it came off that way to me.

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      5. Housewives are SLAVES!! I want to teleport in your room and whip some sense into you. Fathers don’t have the responsibilities to “assist” the wife. She can take care of herself, you underestimate women. You don’t believe they are equal, you are just another one of those disgusting people. Just because one person has a different body part doesn’t make them the “sole provider” or the “slave”. THEY AREN’T EQUAL. You are choosing the way someone lives their life. I hope you marry a feminist or else you will be a slave owner. “Mothers have the responsibility to care for the house, teach the children, and assist the husband. ” A husband can take care of himself. I hate children, I hate cooking, and cleaning. Even though I am female, I hate all the supposed duties I supposedly have to do.

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      6. “a person who is the legal property of another and is forced to obey them.” That is what a slave is. When you get married, a women is legally his property. (That’s why she takes the man’s last name. When you cook and clean/raise children, they are serving the husband. You are too blind to see that.

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      7. You encourage that law so don’t act so surprised. You aren’t a feminist so you don’t care about liberty. You want a slave, you look hypocritical fighting for liberty.

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      8. I used to get beat up all the time for being a boy, and then they’d say, “you ca’t fight back, because then you’ll go to jail for fighting a girl” and they’d beat me, and beat me, and beat me. I never gave a continental for offensive speech. Who cares what people yell at me, as long as they aren’t hurting me, right?

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      9. Reporting did no good. The teachers never cared. I pushed one off in self defense. I was scared because I was seven, and when I push one girl away, because I was delirious with pain, I actually thought I would go to jail. Of course I know know that I won’t go to jail for self defense. I just didn’t know then.

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      10. In some ways, you face sexism. But you are privileged. Privilege is invisible to those who have it. I know I am priveleged because I am white, but only because I looked at the other side. Plus, yelling at a girl, calling her a slut is more than just calling her a slut. Catcalling is more than just saying “hey baby”. Again, read this “https://themelodramaticconfessionsofcarlalouise.wordpress.com/2015/12/28/catcalling-just-dont/”

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      11. I’m scared because I will probably be raped because men see me as an object. “1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime (14.8% completed rape; 2.8% attempted rape).1

        17.7 million American women have been victims of attempted or completed rape.1

        9 of every 10 rape victims were female in 2003” How am I supposed to say I’m not an object when I am taken advantage of? It’s not as simple as that.

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      12. Block me if you want. I wanted to simply point out your hypocrisy. The only reason why I’m commenting is because you are saying rude things on my FAVORITE blogger’s post. When I “preach” about veganism, meat eaters usually use this tactic. Calling me out for being rude when they torture and kill animals. You not only disrespected my gender but you keep sexism alive. So have fun with your slave wife.

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      13. LOL of course you’d say that to your own opinions. Plus, you will never be able to understand the feelings of people that are not like you. You are white, straight, and a male, so you are the most privileged person in America. You do not see your sexist or racist ways because you are not a female or black. Your opinions are both bad and hypocritical. I don’t understand why dislike Kaitlyn so much when YOU egg her on…

        Liked by 1 person

      14. I don’t dislike her. I think she is smart, and I am sad she was abused. I know I am the most privileged person in america, and I am trying to help all people become privileged and rich, so what do you have against that? Do you want everyone to be poor and non-priveledged? Or rich and happy and privileged?

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      15. I don’t think you understand the word privileged. You want everyone to become rich and equal (socially and economically) right? That’s what feminists, LGBT rights activists, black rights activists, etc fight for. Equality will lead to an equal chance for everybody to become successful and rich.

        Liked by 1 person

      16. I don’t want everyone to be equal. I want everyone to have as much as possible, and many people will probably have a lot more, but that’s great, because it’s even more! I don’t want equality, I want prosperity. Getting rid of regulations will make everyone richer, but the rich will get a lot more. I don’t want anyone to have the ability to violate anyones rights. I want them to have every other ability, so essentially, reappear all laws that govern rather than protect.

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      17. You said that people should be able to pay a black person less than a white person. You claim to say it’s because of “freedom” but in reality you are inviting sexist and racist idiots to have the freedom to be an idiot.

        Straight means that you are attracted to the opposite sex. That is the majority, and they also happen to be the most privileged.

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      18. But you want a wife to cook and serve you. Correct me if I’m mistaken, but yu said that there is a law that forces her to obey so…I’m glad you don’t want women to be property but you are supporting that law when she takes your last name. That’s why if I get married, I’m going to make my own last name, so neither gender is property or head of the house.

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      19. What if she doesn’t want the “blessings”, you can’t force her. What if she doesn’t want to be a “babymaker” and a “slave”? What if your wife wanted to work and didn’t want kids? Are you going to divorce her over this simple matter? Oh and you loved her, so no excuses.

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      20. You want a wife to take care of kids, cook, clean, I already explained how that makes her a slave. You never said anything rude, and neither did I. Definition of sexism: 1 : prejudice or discrimination based on sex; especially : discrimination against women. 2 : behavior, conditions, or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex. You agree with social roles/gender based duties so your statement was sexist. It’s only rude if you see it that way. You could’ve blocked me a long time ago, if I was being rude.

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      21. I won’t block you yet, because you’re not being that rude. I see that I am sexist by the second definition, and I’m not ashamed of it. You are sexist by the first definition. You and I are not feminists. I want them to be socially but not economically equal, you want them to be economically but not socially equal.

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      22. They pay women less because they are women. That is discrimination, do you want the country run by discriminating hillbillies? You should be ashamed, you’re a sad excuse for a human being. But that’s okay, because when you grow older, you will realize the faults in your statements. I want social equality, what led you to that conclusion? I am a feminist, because I fit the definition. Maritza is a feminist because she agrees with most of the things I say. You aren’t because you believe in gender roles. You can call yourself a feminist, go ahead, but I don’t want you looking like an idiot when you claim to be a feminist. I don’t want you to get bullied, so I am merely pointing out your hypocrisy.

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      23. Please, Jace, be considerate. I allow you to comment on my posts when you are being respectful, but it is not polite to bombard somebody else’s blog with a debate. You can either leave or comment on her blog. I don’t get why you hate on every single one of my posts, yet you follow me. I’ve been very patient so far, but when you insult feminism like a deranged idiot, that’s when it’s too far. (Well, you’re the only one looking bad here so I don’t really care but,) Please just remember to be respectful of my blog. Usually, people will resolve this on another blog, not the host’s. It’s blogging etiquette. Something I realized you don’t have. Thank you!

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      24. “1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. Among all victims, about nine out of ten are female.
        ” That is very high for your information. Plus, I haven’t even got to sexual assault.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Please, Jace, be considerate. I allow you to comment on my posts when you are being respectful, but it is not polite to bombard somebody else’s blog with a debate. You can either leave or comment on her blog. I don’t get why you hate on every single one of my posts, yet you follow me. I’ve been very patient so far, but when you insult feminism like a deranged idiot, that’s when it’s too far. (Well, you’re the only one looking bad here so I don’t really care but,) Please just remember to be respectful of my blog. Usually, people will resolve this on another blog, not the host’s. It’s blogging etiquette. Something I realized you don’t have. Thank you!

      Also, I unapproved your comments because they were not respectful. Like I said, and I’ll say it again, you can either leave or resolve it somewhere else. Otherwise I’ll have to block you.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. If one can’t love or respect herself the way she is, no one would. Society says..but what do you say? Glad you learnt to appreciate who you are and what you look like. Muaah. 😘

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      1. Sure they are. But the earlier they start loving themselves, the better their lives would be. Nothing wrong with being insecure but something wrong when it drags on forever. Lol.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. I LOVE this! So reblogging.
    I used to struggle going without make up (unless I wasn’t going anywhere at all and no one was coming over … but then I got sick. Really sick. And there was no point wearing make up, what a waste. And I got so used to seeing the natural me, I just didn’t bother as much anymore. Now, I’ll wear make up if I’m going out properly, but for grocery stores or visitors, I just usually won’t bother. I wore clothes. That’s something. No make up for you! 😉

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  3. I LOVE this post, I used to wear lots of make up until I realized that there was no point. And I hated the feel of it on my face, I will wear make up for special occasions though because I like getting all dolled up. Love this post and looking forward to your next!!!!

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  4. I wonder why Jace is still on this post, he’s not a feminist. He didn’t even reply because he has nothing to argue except calling me a socialist. He can go ahead and have his own misogynistic family with a slave wife. I only feel bad for the person who marries him, although he probably won’t find one. Unless she’s desperate…

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      1. Hasn’t his family taught him manners? I bet he is so brainwashed that he thinks it’s normal to have a slave. I could still see some of his comments, they were so idiotic. He will change his mind later…

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      2. He will probably get a mormon wife, who is already brainwashed so he doesn’t have to. Does he think being a socialist is an insult? Ha! I love being called a socialist. Thanks for the compliment, Jacie!!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Ikr. Didn’t he say that he was losing weight? He wouldn’t be stronger than me or you…I am stronger than most of my classmates. And I’m terrible at taking care of children. Yeah, totally in my genes.

        Liked by 2 people

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