Growing up I was always taught to “Forgive and forget,” but what if I didn’t want to? I tried to be a “good little girl” growing up, I really tried, but when was my breaking point?
I tried to forgive others, even if they didn’t deserve my forgiveness. I always did things that I was told to do without questioning why. I guess now I am finally questioning.
When people hurt and hurt me, I would always forgive them. Back in middle school, I had a few friends that used me. They lied to me, and they talked behind my back. Many times I found out about what they had done, and many times I had forgiven them. Why did I forgive them? Because I was told to forgive, growing up. I was told that it was the “proper thing to do,” and only mature people forgive.
I noticed that every time I forgave them, it would only hurt me more. More lies, more fights, more gossiping. It finally occurred to me that forgiving does not always work. In fact, if you put the feelings of others before yourself, you will end up hurting yourself more. I’m not ashamed to say that they did not deserve my forgiveness. It seemed as though it was expected of me to forgive. Forgiveness from me is a privilege. After learning that, I started to forgive people only when I wanted to. I didn’t need their negativity in my life, so why should I have to forgive? Because I was told to?
I have also heard the saying, “Forgive, but never forget.” That’s kind of an immature saying, because you forgive them, but you would still secretly hold a grudge if you remember what they did to hurt you.
In the end, I have learned a valuable lesson. I realized that I am not going to be nice just because I am told, forgive just because that is what is expected, or not do ___ because “it’s wrong.”
I’m tired of other people’s morals being shoved down my throat. I’m going to live the way I want to live, okay? You can live yours.
You might think I’m a real grouch in this post, but honestly, this was my breaking point. I don’t want to have to be nice. I will be nice when I want to. I don’t have to be mean either.
I hope somebody out there agrees, because it seems like I’m the only one with these thoughts nowadays.
Thank you for reading.