My Views on Marriage

Marriage is a beautiful thing to some, and a restriction to others. First, I’d like to establish what marriage is. Well, originally, marriage was for family ties, such as a princess of one family marrying a prince of another family, so that their families secured a bond. Marriage in ancient times actually meant that the woman was property of the man, and that she was a gift to him. She was seen as an object, with her sole purpose being to cook, clean, be a slave, and birth children. Many marriages were actually dissolved if the woman was infertile.

Obviously this is not the case today, but so little people realize that some sexist traditions are still alive today.

Marriage Ceremony 

Did you know that the father traditionally walked the bride down the aisle because he was “giving her away” to the husband? It literally symbolized that she was the property of the father, but now she’s property of her husband, thus the changing of last names. Many wives actually write Mrs. (husband’s full name) on documents, like she was just the property of the husband. I’m aware that they don’t mean it that way, but it is incredibly sexist.

Did you know that the veil symbolizes the bride’s virginity, and that when the father lifts the veil, he is actually giving the husband permission to lose the bride’s virginity? That’s also why the wedding dress is white. White symbolizes purity, and also a woman’s virginity.

So what are my views on this? Well, for one thing, either both of my parents will walk me down the aisle, not because they are giving me away, but because to me, it will be a sign of respect and love towards my new husband, or I will walk myself down the aisle, because I own myself.

I will not wear a veil, my dress will probably not be white, and my wedding will most likely not be in a church, simply because I’m not religious.

Everyday Marriage

Since I am a feminist, I will never be a housewife. I have my own reasons why housewives are damaging to the women, but that could be another post. Basically though, housewives keep the tradition alive that says to cook, clean, care for the kids, and serve the husband. Little do people realize that us women have a lot more potential than that. You do not need to rely on anyone.

If both my husband and I had good jobs, but he made more money, and I wanted kids, I would still never give up my job. Why, you may ask? I will admit this topic is pretty controversial, especially when housewives get offended, but from my own personal experiences and what I have seen, these women are so depressed, bored, and not living life to it’s fullest potential. Of course housewives could be content and happy, but you need to remember that back then in America, the media brainwashed women into thinking that in order to be happy, you had to have a husband, children, and be a housewife. Housewives also usually do all of the housework, and even if the husband does his fair share, the wife usually still does more (cooking, caring, and cleaning wise) This is degrading to women in my opinion (note that I say my opinion) and I hope I don’t cause offense to anyone if they disagree. I want you to look at the other side, and what housewives actually are.

My future husband and I will be equal, there is no “head of the house,” and if I choose to have kids in the future (although I have no idea why I would want to,) I will make sure that my husband and I both contribute to our fair share of chores and caring.

I would also like to point out that marriage is not my goal in life. I believe that people all have a purpose in life, but marriage (IMO) is never one of them. I feel sad when people are so desperate to find a partner that they lose the goodness of what life is really about. There is more to life than marriage. I hope more people will realize that. To me, my purpose in life is to speak for the animals, (hence why I’m an animal rights activist,) and to help others in need. Now, you may not have the same purpose as me, but I know for a fact that marriage is not one of them.

If you were searching for a purpose, listen now. You, reader, are worth more than a servant in marriage (be you male or female) and I am here to tell you that you have so much potential. Never give up, always keep working hard, and someday you might live your dream. Don’t just settle on marriage and kids, you are worth more than that!

Thanks for reading.

 

 

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Maritza's Thoughts

I have always enjoyed the art of writing and language. That is why I decided to start this blog. I write about my thoughts, veganism, and mindfulness. I hope you enjoy my blog.

29 thoughts on “My Views on Marriage”

  1. I think you write senseable blogs! Indeed, not everyone is cut out for the mold of Marriage; even more so if you’re career oriented. People don’t necessarily need a contract to mingle anyway… Insightful thinking Maritza! Maybe one day, all our desires can be fulfilled by mechanical means. LOL!

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    1. Thank you very much for your comment! I agree. Some people may disagree but if I have a job that I am in love with, and it brings me great joy to do it every day, then I would choose my occupation over a relationship.

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      1. Wouldn’t that be the logical choice if you really wanted to feel fulfilled? Smart girl! I’m glad you think for yourself, and not according to the advice of people who are usually unhappy themselves because of poor choices in life…

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      2. That’s because it is so hard Maritza… Don’t forget, we’re a generation trained to like meat! Things are changing slowly, but this is an entire paradymn shift which won’t happen over-night, yet more quickly as time progresses. Be patient. You’re young :O) That’s on your side…

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      3. Exactly. My father would never give up meat because he has eaten it for so long. I feel kind of bad because he’s not the healthiest either… I agree with you. I hope you have the strength (unlike many others) and I wish you luck. 🙂

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  2. Some symbols are more flexible than others. The veil can symbolize virginity but it’s easily made a fashion accessory. It’s a piece of cloth and the same goes for the color white. Don’t write them off if you find aesthetic value in them.

    “Basically though, housewives keep the tradition alive that says to cook, clean, care for the kids, and serve the husband. Little do people realize that us women have a lot more potential than that. You do not need to rely on anyone.” – Sounds to me like symbiosis. The man gets the money and the woman cooks the food. Both need each other. I’m not saying this is an ideal situation. The ideal is that every couple should decide how they want their relationship run, which means HouseHusbands can exist too.

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    1. “The veil can symbolize virginity but it’s easily made a fashion accessory.” Correct me if I’m wrong, but I never said that wasn’t true either. I am just saying that it came from a sexist tradition that is offensive to women. However, I’m pretty sure it’s only a fashion accessory because it’s traditional.
      “The man gets the money and the woman cooks the food.” They need each other, sure, but they need to be equal to each other. Like I said in my post, housewives can actually be very mentally unstable, and it can be hard on the man equally, because he will feel all the pressures to be responsible. That was an idea that society put into men’s heads…. I agree with “every couple should decide how they want their relationship run,” but when a male pressures a female to be a housewife, he is oppressing her and basically making her lesser than him. Househusbands can exist, but just note that it can oppress the husband… He’s not just a slave. I wrote this post based on my thoughts and experiences. Also, I’m pretty sure you were from Abby’s post, so no wonder you’d disagree with me. Let’s just agree to disagree on this one. I don’t want another immature fight like the one I had with Abby…

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      1. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I never said that wasn’t true either. ” – True. I’m just saying that a vague symbol shouldn’t be discarded just because it was once associated with a bad idea.

        Then again, what about the Swastika to take an extreme example? I’m not well-versed enough in the Logos of Symbol to express an opinion on this>

        ” but when a male pressures a female to be a housewife, he is oppressing her and basically making her lesser than him” – Agreed. The roles in a relationship, how it’s run should be based on what the people in it wants. No one should be pressured into doing anything.

        I don’t think we’re in an immature fight. I’m a man of exchanging and challenging ideas. I will never learn if I won’t expose myself to opposite opinions who might prove me wrong.

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      2. “I’m just saying that a vague symbol shouldn’t be discarded just because it was once associated with a bad idea.” It was not vague… Women have the freedom to wear whatever they want on their wedding day, but you are misunderstanding the point of my post. I was just trying to point out the sexism behind marriage ceremonies so that people would think twice about wearing something just because it was a tradition. Women were PROPERTY back then. That was a tradition. Do you want to keep that? Slaves were a tradition. Do you want that too?
        “I will never learn if I won’t expose myself to opposite opinions who might prove me wrong.” You are very smart. I’m glad to be discussing with somebody obviously mature enough to handle this kind of conversation. I think I just want you to understand the female’s point of view, and maybe feel a little sympathy for the women who had to deal with such sexist traditions back then, instead of defending them. Inequalities are a tough thing to talk about, especially when one hasn’t experienced them. I am female, you are male. You cannot experience my inequalities, but what you can do is relate to them and fight for them. I wasn’t trying to tell people to stop wearing veils &etc in my post. I was trying to get people to realize the sexist inequalities and traditions that are still alive today, just because they are traditions. I hope you agree with me.

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  3. “There is more to life than marriage. I hope more people will realize that.”

    This. So much. I will never get married. I simply have no interest in the things that usually go along with marriage. And that’s fine. I just wish everyone else could see that that’s fine, too, and not tell me that I might change my mind or that I haven’t met the right one yet or whatever other excuse they want to use to pretend that their way of life is the right one for everybody.

    It’s so much better to do what you actually want to do with your life than to do what other people tell you that you should do or want.

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    1. You’re amazing! I’m so glad that you can find a purpose beyond just shallow wants like marriage (IMO.) I agree with “and not tell me that I might change my mind or that I haven’t met the right one yet or whatever..” and I can relate to you so much especially regarding children. I tell people I don’t ever want children, there’s no purpose, etc and they’re all like “oh you’ll change your mind..” Hmm…

      Thank you for your comment! 🙂

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      1. Well, I wouldn’t describe wanting marriage as shallow–it’s certainly a very deep, important thing for my brother and his wife, for example–but not everyone wants that or needs to have it, and it’s aggravating when people act like everyone should want or need it. I’m sorry you get the same crap from people about not wanting children.

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  4. Hahaha. Are you sure Abby didn’t get to you. You mentioned her name again. It is good to respect the opinion of others no matter how crazy. I love this post…being an housewife is a choice and oh my the work they do is equally enormous and brain tasking especially when there are kids too. I can imagine that. And marriage is definitely overrated, my landlady after our send forth/Christmas party last night, pulled me aside to ask about my love life, I told her marriage isn’t no 1. On my list, I have goals that are so demanding. I get inspired when I make people smile. She went on to agree we are alike but also gave me lots of reasons why getting married in our society for a woman is important. We ended the discussion with me telling her that I am Open-minded. Ha-ha. If someones goal is to marry, by all means I wish them the best life. Also, they shouldn’t bother me in any way with their goals. I have mine.

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    1. If anything I got to Abby. I didn’t realize she’d take my constructive criticism as trolling and an insult. I am very passionate about my views, and everyone is free to disagree, but name calling and obsessively replying is pretty weird if you ask me. Abby did not get to me, in fact I hope she learned a valuable lesson (since she (name called) me a bully) 🙂 I agree. Her opinion was crazy. But enough about some random girl.

      Some people actually think that a housewife is a woman’s full potential, and that’s where I draw the line. Nobody should aspire to be a housewife… It is degrading to women, because it puts us into a box of only certain things we are capable of. I’m glad that marriage isn’t your top priority. You go girl! I do agree that everyone has the right to their own goals, but you need to realize that society is very powerful in brainwashing women into thinking being a housewife is a dream job. Also, I mostly get offended at when the man EXPECTS the woman to be a housewife, and plays no role. Thank you for your comment. 🙂

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      1. Men are becoming supportive. Only the lazy ones don’t care or still hold that notion. Becoming a housewife is the person’s choice, personally I don’t consider it insulting, we all have choices. But am definitely going to wonder why one can be so comfortable with that life. Lol.

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      2. Well you need to remember that it originated from a very sexist, offensive, and degrading tradition. Women were just seen as property of the husband, and since they were women, they were automatically the caretakers of the family. Obviously now most people don’t think this way, but every time they support it, it keeps the tradition alive, especially if it is still predominantly women. Most feminists don’t believe in housewives, unless they have been brainwashed to by society. The choice itself is not insulting, it’s the intention and history behind it. I’m surprised housewives still exist. lol.

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  5. Marriage, as with all things made by God, have been twisted into something evil by men. I really do hate the type of marriage you are discussing here, but I am so grateful for the true marriage that my parents have.

    P.S. I am the least brainwashed (and most clumsy) person I know.

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      1. How? Was he there to say “You may now kiss the bride?” Makes no sense to me, but once again, it doesn’t matter, because I’m not religious. You can’t go without speaking religion at least once, can you?

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      2. I guess then you are being quite hypocritical if you like a post that contradicts your religion. Thank you, I think? Key word: opinion. An opinion is not correct or incorrect. I do think for myself, which explains how I’m so different from my conservative Republican parents. *gag*

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