I am going to be honest. I never really liked babies or children. I used to think there was something wrong with me, or that I just wasn’t born with the “motherly” instinct. Later along the way I realized that there is no point to having children.
Back then, women felt pressured by their parents or society to have children or they would not be considered successful in life. Once they had children, their main reason to live was to take care of the family and clean, cook, etc. When I really thought about this mindset, I felt really uncomfortable. Sure there is more to life than children and cleaning? Why are women so okay with doing this? Don’t they know they have other choices? After I thought about this, I realized… that is not what I want to do in life. I don’t want to be a boring stay-at-home mom, watching reality tv, having no friends, or being driven insane from children. Their daily life consists of chores, and their life revolves around their children.
Why do people still have children to this day then? We don’t need to increase the population, in fact, there are (too many) people in my opinion. Some people may say “They’re cute!” or “They are a symbol of love between the father and mother.” Yet these people don’t realize that children (in most cases) pull apart the parent’s romantic relationship. Their main conversations consist of “Did you take Tommy to soccer?” or “Miranda has a ballet lesson at 3. Take her please.”
“Honey, can you take out the trash?”
I also feel like the mother and father have to dumb themselves down (baby talk.) It drives me insane to hear these mothers “goo” and “gah” to make their babies laugh. Then, after a while, that becomes their actual voice. They don’t know how they used to be before children.
Of course I am grateful that my parents decided to have me, but I am unsure of the reasons. Every time I ask my mom, “Why did you want children?” She never has a clear answer. It’s almost as if it was expected of her. Getting married and having children was her main goal. That and getting lots of money. I feel bad for so many people who have this mindset. Honestly, that is not a good goal nor is it something you should do in your life. I am not trying to bash people based on their lifestyles, personally I just feel like they are worth more than that; they have more meaning in their lives.
On another note, I have never enjoyed the company of children. “Oh Maritza don’t worry, you’ll change your mind later.” “You’ll want children soon enough.” Do I really? I just don’t see a point. I feel like I would have a much happier life if I lived it with friends, or just a husband.
When I notice the way a child talks, how they think, and how they act, I can’t help but notice the naivety in their voices. It makes me sad that these children literally know nothing. They learn from others their entire childhood, but are suddenly crashed with the reality that life and the world is not what they thought. I don’t know if I would be able to raise a child knowing that they are going to be subject to this (honestly) terrible world that we live in, and that they are totally unaware of what is going on around them. Children only think of themselves and don’t develop a sense of caring or compassion until their early to late teens. It’s honestly sad but true.
For example, I was raised my whole life that meat was good for me, that I needed it to survive, and all of these myths that go along with eating meat. Little did I know that these were simply not true. (Refer to my vegan post for more information.) Only one month ago, my world came crashing down when I realized what was happening to these animals, and that I could do nothing to stop it. It really crushed me. I am happier now, but this just proves that just because your parents told you something, it doesn’t mean that it’s right. I learned that. I would never want that to happen to my child if I had one. Thinking the world was one way, but once they reach maturity, see the world through a new set of eyes.
What happens when they grow up? Simply put, they leave you. You spend most of your adult life taking care of a child/children, and in the end, they leave you. They thank you, they are grateful, but then what happens to you? You live every day raising your children, and suddenly, it’s all gone. They are gone, and now you are forced to reconnect with your husband/wife again, and because you haven’t really had one-on-one time in a while, that may be strange. Scary even, because what if you truly get to know your partner, and find out that he/she’s not what you thought?
Honestly these thoughts just occur to me randomly. I have no idea if other people think of children this way, but all I know is that I hope to never have children. But that may be just me.
I hope you enjoyed today’s deep and thoughtful post.