I used to be very negative, especially in my early teen years, because I could only see the bad in things. I never thought on a deeper level. I never used logic, my emotions, and I never connected with my spirituality like I do now. I look back on the life I had then, and I was actually what I’d consider depressed. I could only focus on my image, and I hardly worked on my personality. If I think about it, I had no idea who I was. I had no originality. I followed the latest trends in fashion, I spoke the way all the other teenage girls spoke, and I did things only a typical teenage girl would do. And I was unhappy. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was not living a real life. I always aspired to be other people, and I never truly liked myself. I hated my voice, my nose, my height, my weight, I constantly picked myself apart. Little did I know that I was perfectly healthy, (actually underweight, even getting comments such as “don’t be afraid to eat a burger,” or “you look a bit anorexic”) I actually saw these derogatory terms as a compliment. Simply put, I hated myself. Why? The truth was because I was so negative.
I would look at a girl walking down the hall in school and think “Wow she’s ugly.” or pick apart other girls in my mind to make myself feel better. I had friends that would constantly gossip and make jokes about other people. At the time I thought it was okay, but now I know that it is most definitely not. Picking apart other girls will never make you truly better. Comparing “beautiful” girls you aspire and want to be will also not make you better. It will pull you apart. I was so negative and naive, but if I’m being truthful, I blame it on the media and society that we live in. We think these things are perfectly okay and acceptable to do.
The reason I’m so happy now is because I’m positive. When I became vegan, something that I can’t explain came over me, and I had what I call a spiritual awakening. I finally realized my purpose in life, and thought about others rather than myself. I also saw the world for what it truly is. While the society I live in is not perfect, if I look at everyone individually, I can see everyone’s struggle to just be loved, to be cared for, and their genuine need to be happy. Everything people do, good or bad, is in hopes that they will be happy. Sometimes I think that this can be a little selfish, but that’s how we were created. We were created to want things, to need things, and to be satisfied in life. That doesn’t mean that I want it to be this way, but I’ve accepted it. I’ve accepted the fact that my hopes and dreams are almost impossible, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t do anything or try to make a difference.
I try to be mindful in my day-to-day life, and I try to enjoy the little gifts of nature. A beautiful rose outside of my window, a pure blue sky, the shimmer of the condensation on my glass of water, or the slight breeze in the crisp mornings. I am so happy that I can see these things now. The old me couldn’t. One of the most important things to me is being mindful. I try to be mindful every day. I try to enjoy my surroundings, look up from electronics, smile at strangers. I want to go places without makeup, without my phone, I want to be true.
I hope to inspire people with my veganism, and I hope for others. I also hope that one day people will realize what they do to animals. I know that some things I wish for are impossible, but being positive is amazing. I see life with a whole different set of eyes. I see people differently.
When I was so negative, I never appreciated the things I had. I never noticed my surroundings, and I couldn’t grasp reality. I never understood the beauty of sunsets, or sunrises, and would scroll past them quickly on my Instagram. Now I realize the beauty in nature. When I was younger, I didn’t know what beauty truly was. I thought it was something nice to look at, something pretty, but now I know it’s something more.
However, I am not perfect, and I am not always positive. There are many negative things that I can dwell on, and sometimes I can’t stop myself if I do. But sometimes I just remind myself of the good things, and why I’m here. I used to get so angry about the way animals were being treated, and of course I still do, but I’ve reached a deeper understanding of what I can do instead. Being vegan alone saves one animal’s life a day, and that is enough for me. Sometimes I get angry of how women are being treated around the world, but then I tell myself that some injustices are never justified, but that doesn’t mean that it’s right. I can’t help every single person on this earth, even though I’m sure everyone wishes they could.. Positivity will keep me motivated, it will get me closer to my goal, it will help me, it will push me further, and it will guide me through my life.
Many people like to complain and whine about what they don’t have. That’s our society. I’ve accepted that people are greedy, stingy, and that they will always want more. But I just know that that’s not me. I don’t want a car, a husband, a big house, or tons of money. I don’t want to be a part of this superficial society. But hey maybe that’s just me.
Being positive changed me, and that’s why it’s important.