My Longing for Nature

Something that I have realized lately is the true purity, beauty, and positivity of nature. If you asked me one year ago if I liked nature, I would’ve said, “Not really, my hair gets messy from bugs, wind, etc!” *sigh*

About a month ago I had to read an essay from a man named Ralph Waldo Emerson, where he spoke about the beauty of nature, and how it can cleanse the mind, destroy the corruption of society on the mind, and make you feel vibrant, and youthful.

I really agreed with his message because to me, society indeed can corrupt the soul, mind, and body. It can destroy your actual thoughts. If we all lived in nature, would we wear makeup? Would we need to conform to society’s ideals?

Definitely not!

Realizing this made me want to be closer to nature. It made me sad that I have to live in a world and society where you work, get money, have children, a husband, a family, and then die. Of course this is a negative way of saying it, and I am forever grateful, but where is the simplicity in the life that we used to have? Of course our ancestors were hunters and gatherers and they had to work hard for basic necessities, but let’s look at the peaceful Native Americans. They loved nature, they had a positive and embracing culture, and they worshiped the plants and animals.

What do we worship? Technology? Money? Power? These are shallow things, in a shallow world, that I do not want to be a part of. Again, I can’t do anything about it, but I will at least have a job that is meaningful. Doctor, scientist, animal rescuer, something that will help others.

I think to myself, I wish I could live in nature. I wish at least that I could be closer to it. But then I stop myself and think, I do have nature. I see it every day. I see the beautiful blue sky on clear days, I see the thousands of trees (I live in Oregon) daily, I hear the sweet song birds in the morning, and I get a whole garden of my own.

One day I might try to move closer to nature, like Downtown Portland, that way I can go on hiking trails in the mornings. I can breathe fresh air.

For now, I will appreciate the little glimpses of nature that I have.


Happy Thanksliving!

Today I had my first vegan Thanksgiving, or should I say, ThanksLIVING. Thanks to vegans, turkeys aren’t murdered for a feast. (Did I just say that? Sorry. Wait, I’m not!)

It was honestly one of the best Thanksgivings that I’ve ever had. It tasted exactly like all of the traditional dishes that I used to eat when I was a meat-eater! (Except 20 times healthier.)

I’m so thankful for finding out about this amazing lifestyle. I am thankful for my supportive, loving family. I am thankful for of course, the internet, and I am thankful to be very privileged and have a nice house, good food, clean water, and a great education.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! 🙂


She’s a girl

She’s a little girl

Running around the house with barbie dolls,

Smiling and giggling,

Trying on her Mommy’s high heels,

Being a princess.


She’s a little girl

Riding on her pink bike,

Losing her two front teeth,

Wearing her hair in pigtails,

Watching cartoons.


She’s a little girl

Posing in front of the mirror,

Putting on her mother’s lipstick,

Curling her hair.


She’s a little girl

Staring at that boy in class,

Butterflies in her stomach,

Failing her classes,

Not caring too much.


She’s a little girl

Walking on the streets alone,

Drinking poison, because that’s all she has,

Waking up lonely.


She’s a girl

With blood pouring onto her thin



The blades slicing her pain.


She’s a girl


Because she knows it’s the end.

Why I no longer wear makeup

Don’t get me wrong, makeup can be a great thing. It can really transform your face, it can brighten your eyes, and it can make you appear awake and ready for the day. But when does makeup go too far?

Ever since I was 13, I wore makeup daily. As soon as I woke up in the morning, I would brush my teeth, and put my makeup on. What I didn’t realize is that I had perfect, soft, youthful skin! I had big eyes, I had shiny hair. But to society, I was just the girl in the background.

I never knew that I had pressures from society, and I convinced myself that I just liked putting it on as an art, but really, what was it for? Why did I enjoy putting it on?

Because I looked better afterwards.

Makeup went too far because I was obsessed with it. I was always buying the latest product, watching endless tutorials on YouTube, and always discussing it with my friends.

Whenever I wore makeup, I wasn’t myself. Sure, I got more attention from boys, but was it worth it?

What were they looking at? Me, or my makeup?

Finally, about a month ago, I decided to go makeup free. Part of the reason was that Essena O’neill opened my eyes, and part of it was because I wanted to not have to worry about my looks. I could finally focus on me.

In my experience, going makeup free has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. I still wear makeup occasionally, but NEVER because I feel pressured to. (I actually only use eyebrow powder and some lip product now.)

I also noticed that going makeup free has boosted my confidence amazingly! When you wear makeup daily, you tend to focus on all of your flaws that you naturally have, and cover them up, and when you take your makeup off at the end of the day, your real face looks worse than your makeup face. This is because you were comparing the two.

Once I got rid of makeup, I never compared myself. I also stopped comparing myself to other girls, especially if they were wearing layers and layers of makeup. And that’s not real.

I’m not trying to bash makeup lovers here, but I believe that we need to focus more on ourselves, instead of our looks. I find it kind of shameful that we have so many “beauty gurus” on YouTube who teach you how to look “perfect,” when deep down, we know that’s impossible.

I don’t think that people who wear makeup are fake, that’s not what I mean at all, but I just think that when it gets to the point that you NEED makeup, you need to step back and think about it.

We need to focus on ourselves, not our faces.


The never ending cycle of schoolwork

Do you ever feel so flooded with schoolwork that no matter how many hours you put into something, you never get caught up? That’s how I feel right now.

I have been trying to get caught up in my classes for a few weeks now. I have good grades, don’t get me wrong, but I can never get ahead.

If you don’t know this, I am an online schooled student. I still go to school, but I’m mostly at home. (If anyone’s interested in it, I will definitely make a post about it.)

I feel like I can never seize the day and my work, no matter how early I get up.

I can never get ahead, no matter how concentrated I am.

I feel like there are always distractions, no matter where I am.

The tap of someone else’s pencil, the inviting world of games, the junk in my room, I feel so unorganized!

No matter how clean my room is, my mind is still messy.

I believe that in order to combat this mess, I will have to clear my mind. I need to rid it of anxiety, stress, and unnecessary worries.

That is why I decided to do a long chakra meditation tonight. It is long overdue.

I hope it works.


Why am I so logical?

I realized quite recently that I am a very logical person. I rely on facts, evidence, and knowledge to make a decision or explain something to others. I was wondering to myself today, why am I so logical?

Is it because I’m one of those people who need evidence or facts in order to have confidence in something? Or is it that I never like to be incorrect, so I rely on facts to prove my point?

For example, I’m vegan. Not just because I think it’s wrong to eat meat and that animals are cute, but for environmental, ethical, and health reasons. These are facts. When I discuss veganism with somebody, I use facts to prove my point. I never say, “Well you shouldn’t eat meat because it’s wrong.” Same thing with abortion. While I do believe it is morally wrong, that is my belief, and I can’t prove it as if it was a fact.

I never used to believe in evolution. Why? Because I didn’t think it was possible, according to my religious beliefs. However, this year, I opened my eyes, actually educated myself, and found out what evolution actually means. You don’t just slowly grow from a fish to a human. That’s not what it is. I was so ignorant that I never looked at the other side. I refused it because of my beliefs.

I believe that facts trump beliefs any day. I would never choose my religion over veganism. In fact, it’s sad that many people even see it that way.

It’s not “Oh I have to either follow my religion or be vegan.” In fact, veganism may just work with your religion, or if you think it doesn’t, think to yourself, “Would the divine being/philosophy that I believe in want me to eat meat? Why? Would it make me happy?”

Facts and evidence will always win an argument. Moral values or beliefs are just not good enough, because not everybody agrees. Facts and evidence are things that everybody agrees with.

Another example are the presidential candidates. Some of them are using their religion and PERSONAL moral values to win votes, instead of providing the facts. I will make sure to never vote for someone who uses beliefs over logic, reason, facts, or evidence. That is just ignorant.

I’ve talked about this in a few posts, but I believe that when some people are very invested in a religion, their religion sometimes trumps their logic and reason. This is ignorance. If we don’t look at the facts, we are destroying futures and encouraging a generation that just “looks the other way.” I’m not saying that religion is terrible, that’s not what I mean at all. I just want people to look at both sides instead of letting their personal moral values deteriorate their reasoning skills.

I believe that we need to use facts, stop being ignorant, and get educated. Many Americans don’t believe in things that have strong evidence, like climate change, evolution, and even prejudice towards other cultures! (Islamophobia)

My main point is that being logical opened a whole new door for me. It made me realize the world around me, and suddenly, I didn’t feel so ignorant anymore. I may have a harsher or more negative view on life, but this can help me make rational decisions and think for myself for once.

I want people to open their eyes and look at the facts so that we can create a more brighter and intelligent America.

Why are we so selfish?

I am not usually so negative all the time, but I just had to ask this question. Why are we so selfish? Why do humans only value themselves, yet we claim to want to help others? Can someone be fully selfless?

Today I wanted to attempt to answer these questions. I am no expert, but this is my take on things.

I believe that humans are “selfish,” because we are animals. An animal relies on one main thing. Instincts. They rely on instincts for food, shelter, and the basic needs to survive. But we are a little different, because we are more intelligent than most of the animals. (Not saying that makes us better.)

We go beyond just the basic needs because it has something to do with survival of the fittest, but in a lifestyle way. We want to be the best, we want to have it all, and we want and want because we are animals. We were born to want things.

Dogs constantly want food, even if you gave them enough so that they are full. Because they have an innate need to want things.

So my next question is, can we ever be selfless? I do believe that it is possible. I believe that to truly find spirituality, and to be rid of society, you must place yourself away from the media and into nature. I combined this idea with Buddhism and came up with a theory.

I believe that society is capable of corrupting the mind, body, and soul. It can corrupt the mind because of how many negative things go day by day in our lives, and we tend to dwell on the negative rather than the positive because there is so much of it in society. It can corrupt the body because it can put pressures on people to look a certain way. Lastly, it can corrupt the soul because it can destroy what you truly are. If we do not accept what is ours and reject what is not, we will not know who we truly are.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to ditch the internet and go live in a forest, but I believe that we must reject society’s ideals, thoughts, and behaviors, and only accept the ones you TRULY agree with. If you do not want to wear makeup, don’t. If you don’t want to dress a certain way, don’t. If you don’t want to vote for that candidate but you feel pressures from society to “be an adult,” DON’T!

I want to start a movement that will reject the media’s shallow ideals and promote something wholesome and positive.

Do I think that will happen? No, because people are already sucked in too deep with society and its many dangers.

I might seem like a hypocrite right now because I’m typing on a form of social media, but I believe that we need to use social media for positive and thoughtful messages, instead of “who wore it better”s and selfies.

The reason I quit Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr, and ultra-famous but useless people on YouTube and Snapchat is because these sites are used for things that are so… shallow.

We have a mind that is worth more than this! Our minds are more capable than party selfies, makeup tutorials, gaming videos, aesthetic photos (that are beyond impossible to achieve), etc.

I guess I am getting a little off topic here, but my main point is that we must use our minds for ourselves, reject society’s ideals, practice wholesomeness, positivity, vulnerability, and kindness, in order to be selfless.

This is just my theory or philosophy, and I don’t know if it would actually work, but I will certainly try. 🙂